I HATE SPIDERS!

Dear Baby Pitzer,
The post from yesterday will be delayed, but it's a good one. I just need to upload some pictures to go with it.
Anyway, this post is going to be a sort of therapy session for me. First of all, it's my birthday. I woke up in a great mood, ready for the day. I was going to go worship Jesus, see all my friends, head to Burt's Pumpkin Patch, go to the outlet mall, and have a lovely dinner with your dad. And- it even feels like fall today. A day of perfection, joy and happiness awaited me.
But then-
I walked out of the bathroom and saw a fairly large spider on your dad's pillow. Spiders creep me out. Especially when I see one in my personal space, such as my bed. I was determined not to let this get me  down on my birthday though. Your dad had already left for church so I was on my own. To include him in the morning's events, I thought about sending him a picture of the spider. In doing so, I would probably gain lots of sympathy from him especially because I am nearly 39 weeks pregnant AND it was my birthday. No girl should ever have to be in this situation. I tried to take a photo, but just couldn't muster up the strength to get close enough to it to send a decent image.
I decided that I needed to focus on killing the arachnid. What would my murder weapon be? As you already know from my earlier post, your dad and I sleep in a waterbed so I had to choose my tool carefully. I am a total wimp when it comes to killing bugs so I can't just grab a kleenex. I needed something to distance myself from the evil beast. I considered using bug killer spray, but concluded that it was not safe for a pregnant gal to use and even after washing our sheets I may still feel the need to purchase new ones. Eventually, I settled on a tennis shoe. It was large, I could get a good grip on it, and I felt confident it had enough surface area for me to kill the spider without a chance of it touching me.
Deep breaths... Lots of prayer and self-talk...the wind-up and the SMASH!!!
Wait. What are those tiny little....omg...baby spiders everywhere! Some were moving- some were not -and Mama Spidey hobbled away.
I was completely paralyzed.
I focused on killing Mama because the babes weren't scattering too far at this point. Then- rather than using the shoe on the babies, I made the decision that pouring a glass of water over them would be wise. (??!?!??)
I got your dad on the phone- he may have thought for one second that I was in labor (I was in minor hysteria) but then I broke the news to him. He coached me through smashing the baby spiders and cleaning up the aftermath.
Traumatic.
The sheets are in the washer as we speak, but I think I want a new bed for my birthday.

Son, please grow up to be brave, strong, and fearless in the face of spiders. Your mum needs you!

Love you, little man! I hope I didn't shake you up too much in there this morning! You can stay in a little while longer :)
Love,
Mum